My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

Steven Wright
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I'm not sure this is a world I belong in anymore. I'm not sure that I want to wake up. - Gayle Forman
  2. I half closed my eyes and imagined this was the spot where everything I'd ever lost since my childhood had washed up, and I was now standing here in front of it, and if I waited long enough, a tiny figure would appear on the... - Kazuo Ishiguro
  3. No one compares to you, but there's no you, except in my dreams tonight. - Lana Del Rey
  4. Time is often wasted by those who don't understand that time is worth more than money because when lost, money can be regained but time cannot. - Gift Gugu Mona
  5. Was once lost always lost really true of chastity? - Thomas Hardy
More Quotes By Steven Wright
  1. It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
  2. Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
  3. I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
  4. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  5. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
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